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Holiday Jealousy over Gifts



In the movies, holidays are about love, giving, kindness and caring. In the world of Real Life Parenting, that isn’t always the case. No matter what’s in your child’s specially-wrapped package, her sister’s present will be better. Santa leaves way more presents at your neighbour’s house and while the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, the envy seems greener right in your own home.

Many siblings spend their lives comparing themselves to each other, vying for Mom and Dad’s attention. When it comes to gifts, the comparisons continue. Rather than hoping that jealousy won’t happen, we can let our kids know that it just might show up during the holidays, when shopping at the mall or when a playmate or brother gets the exact toy you were hoping for.

With young children, the old distract and re-direct move may be your best bet. However, if your kids have graduated to the “You-can’t-fool-me-with-that-redirect” stage, you need a new plan. Read stories about jealousy (Spelman’s, When I feel Jealous) so that your kids can tell you – I’m feeling jealous, I need some help. Acknowledge the feeling rather than telling them not to feel it.

Teach strategies for when they feel that way:
  • Pick a crayon that is the colour of their feeling and scribble the feeling out
  • Draw how they are feeling
  • Blow/Dance the feeling away
Gratitude can be a great way to move jealous feelings out. You can make a Love Hand ahead of time that your child can use when feeling overwhelmed with jealousy, fear or sadness:
  • Trace your child’s hand on some paper.
  • Put the name or picture of someone who loves him on each digit and a heart in the palm.
When the yucky feelings come, he can count and think of the 5 people (pets) who love him and who he loves. Eventually, he won’t need the paper hand because he’ll memorize it and carry his hand with him whenever he needs a reminder.

One final thought: Start to become aware of how much the focus of your family’s celebrations is on gifts as opposed to spending time together.

As ex-teachers, we know that when kids come back to school after the holidays, they rarely remember what gift they got. They do remember fun times spent with family, going skating or bowling together, yummy food and togetherness.

After all, kids spell love T-I-M-E!

From Julie Freedman Smith & Gail Bell, Parenting Power






MIKA Foam Soaps - Turn Bathtime into FUN

Beaners Fun Cuts For Kids is excited to carry MIKA foam soap sprays. 


MIKA Foam Soaps are a colourful way to make bathtime more fun. 


Their gentle formula has none of the nasties:

  • No CFCs
  • No Parabens
  • No Sulphates 
  • No Phthalates


MIKA Foam Soaps are available in an assortment of fun colours and scents that kids will love:


  • Groovy Grape
  • Bubble Gum
  • Very Berry
  • Orange Splash
  • Blueberry Rush
  • Green Apple
  • Wild Watermelon
  • Raspberry-Lime

Available at all Beaners Fun Cuts For Kids locations. Call for availability.




Give Your Kids Great Hair For The Holidays



Shine On

 

The holiday season is a great time to make your children’s hair shine. There are a few different ways to add a little more pizzazz to your kid’s holiday ensemble, so that their look doesn’t get left in the cold.  

 

First, I have two words, “bling strands”. Bling strands are more than just pieces of hair tinsel. These cute sparkling tresses will add an interesting touch to their hair that sparks conversation. The strands can be coordinated perfectly with an outfit or added for a pop of contrasting color. 

 

Glittery accessories or sparkle gel can also take a hairdo from bland to glam in minutes. Anything gold or silver will add some eye-catching shimmer.  Also, don’t forget about Rose Gold! Dive into this new trend by adding clips, head bands or even hair pins in this endearing new color.

 

It’s All About the Face

 

We want to see those beautiful little faces during holiday events and pictures! Holiday hairstyles should always highlight the face with hair styled back (or up) off the face. Incorporate braids, headbands or barrettes to achieve this cute look. ‘Tis the season to also wear a classic or messy bun. Both styles are always a great choice.




Cue the Curls

 

Curls add an extra special finishing touch to girl’s hairstyles that are left down. They also can last for days after. Incorporate a few spiral curls to make a look more formal for dressy affairs that require a more glamorous, put-together look. Not to mention, curls always look great in holiday photos.

 

 

Handsome for the Holidays

 

For looks that stay put on your little man, use a pomade or a softer styling product for flexibility. With these, it’s easy to re-style your hair when removing hats/ toques. 

 

If you need a stronger hold, use a styling gel that is alcohol free to avoid drying out the scalp and making a flakey mess. 




Add temporary colour spray or clipper art for a fun festive look. Little guys need to change their look from time to time too! Try shaving a name initial or favorite sports logo for a cool look they will be proud of. They may not admit it, but they will love the extra attention.

 

 

Winter Hair Care Tips for Kids

 

Winter can be tough on hair and sensitive little scalps. Keep tangles, static, frizz and excess breakage to a minimum using a conditioner after every shampoo. You can also treat your child to a deep conditioner or hair mask. Add a hot towel for better absorption.

 

Winter is prime time for static and frizzy fly-away hair. Use a spritz leave-In conditioner daily to detangle and repel static. You can also spray into toques/ scarves (and even skirts) to eliminate static. 






Support Systems for Parents Are Important!



Some people’s friends all have kids at the same time. Is there something in the water? Who knows – but it provides a built-in parent network.

For others though, having a child immediately segregates them from their peer group and that can be really tough - all this new responsibility and a feeling of total isolation.

There are many support groups for new parents which help to bring parents together. Parents don’t have to go it alone. Some choose to. But, taking one day at a time and knowing that options exist can make it easier.

We all know how helpful it can be to have a “safe-person” or group of people to talk to when things aren’t going according to plan.

Those same people are great to have around when you want to talk about the great report card your child received or the funny things your young-comedian-in-training did today.

Your safe-person may be your mom, your sister, your spouse or someone else in your life. This person doesn’t judge you and you can feel free to speak what’s on your mind.

We learn a great deal about ourselves from our children – good and bad. When we speak about our feelings and concerns, it takes them out of our head where they can spiral repeatedly and enables us to look at them for what they are and move past them or take action.

Choose The Right Network For You

As valuable as these friends are, sometimes these networks can work against us. What networks are helpful and what aren’t? Our needs and situations change over time. If you joined the baby group and it was good for a while that’s great. Now however, everyone has had second and third children and the once peaceful group is chaos. If it is more of a struggle than a help, it may be time to make a change. Model for your child that you can’t do it all and nor should they.

This premise extends to classes and activities for our children. If you feel that you “should” go to music class but it takes place during your child’s nap time and he’s sleeping through half of the class– why are you there? He could be napping and you could too. Your child won’t miss the class and nor will you.

Another factor in group gatherings is the parenting issues that arise. In a group of more than 2 families, there is a good chance that various parenting styles will exist. This presents a challenge when behaviour gets out of hand which it invariably will.

If the group is important to everyone involved, it will take honesty and understanding for everyone to develop a set of rules regarding safety and respect. If everyone disciplines their own children things can work well with a few tips:

  1. Come to the group with a non-judgemental perspective. You don’t have to agree with the parenting strategies used by others, but you can accept them for their children.
  2. When another child’s misbehaviour begins to affect your child, approach the situation with honesty. Talk about your feelings:
    “I’m uncomfortable when I see my child being hit. I feel the need to keep Suzy with me until things are under control again.”
    Or teach your child other strategies:
    “Suzy, please use your words to ask Jane to stop hitting you. I’m sure she will be a good friend and listen to you.”
  3.  Have realistic expectations for the children’s abilities when you are together. Children under 3 will need regular supervision as they are just learning how to relate to others. Most 2-year olds are developmentally unable to share or are just learning. Set them up for success by watching and modeling rather than leaving them to figure it out for themselves.

Develop A Caregiver Network

Another important form of support is the caregiver network that you establish for your family. Time away from our children can help us to rejuvenate, both mentally and physically.

It also encourages them to develop a greater sense of independence.  Minimize the guilt you may feel about leaving your child. If you do it, develop a routine so that your children feel more comfortable.

If you start when your child is young, it’s routine and the child is less likely to question it. If you don’t feel comfortable leaving your child, that’s ok too. Wait until Dad gets home for some free time.

Remember, as valuable as support groups are, you don’t always have to be networking with your child. Set your boundaries to fit you and your family right now. As your family changes, your choices will change as well. Be wise and kind in the choices you make for yourself. Your children are watching to see how you handle situations – what a great opportunity to teach caring and consideration for all of the members of your family.

From Julie Freedman Smith & Gail Bell, Parent Power




Halloween Hair Ideas

A special hairstyle for Halloween can really take your child’s costume to the next level. Beaners Fun Cuts For Kids has gathered some of our favourite ideas from Pinterest to inspire you!

Queen Poppy, Trolls

 


Princess Jasmine, Aladdin

 


Unicorn

 


Queen Elsa, Frozen
 


Cat Ears

 



Rey, Star Wars

 

New Rainbow Extensions Are Here!

 

Add some colour, without the commitment.

New rainbow colour hair extensions with graduated colour variations are all the rage.

Prices and availability vary by location. Call for availability and book your appointment today.

The Right Tools

If you need good quality colour spray or kid-friendly styling products that will hold up for trick or treating, visit any Beaners Fun Cuts For Kids location. And if you need help with more complicated hair styles, like braids, you can always book us for a styling appointment.

For more ideas and instructions, visit our Halloween Pinterest board here.






Halloween Tricks to Make Family Life a Little Less Scary



We often get questions from our clients. Here are three gremlins that have been haunting these families, along with tricks to make things more of a treat.

"Our seven-year-old son is a wimp and it is starting to drive me crazy! Everything is a drama.  Now with Halloween coming up, he doesn’t want to wear and costume and claims that Halloween is scary and doesn’t want to go trick or treating.  The thing is, when we force him to do stuff and go places, he always ends up having fun.  So, how do we skip the drama and enjoy Halloween this year?"

Tell him how you are feeling, acknowledge his feelings and make a plan.  Sometimes children have learned various ways of getting our attention – even negative attention.  It sounds like your son has learned to get your attention through drama – and if you keep “letting it drive you crazy” he will keep doing it. 

Specifically for the Halloween situation, ask him ONCE if he wants to wear a costume and go trick or treating, offer help and guidance in getting the costume ready of his choice and if he says no – tell him that is fine but follow through – no costume and no trick or treating. 

We need to let our children learn from their choices and natural consequences.  Your actions are telling him very strongly that he can make choices but there will be consequences sometimes.  So...when he then wants to go trick or treating you don’t cave – and remind yourself – it will not affect his life  or your life in a year.

"Here we go again – Halloween!  As if our kids don’t get enough junk, now there are classroom parties, community parties and the actual night.  Our son is a sugar freak and is obsessed with candy – any kind.  Any suggestions on how we might deal with the inevitable fights over junk that are about to happen the day after Halloween?"

You are right, Halloween does come every year and yes, there is candy associated with it and probably always will be.  Therefore, instead of fighting about it each year, come up with a plan.  NOW is the time to be talking about it, not right after a party or the night of Halloween when he gets home. 

Decide what you think is a reasonable amount for him to be eating – this is a family decision, with the child.  Some families will allow something every day, others, every other day, some, once a week.  You could also talk about how much candy is okay to keep and what you are going to do with the rest – freeze it, take it to a shelter, etc.

"Our daughter wants to go out trick or treating with her friends this year and no parents.  She is in grade five which seems a little young to me.  Your thoughts???"

On a positive note, there is safety in numbers.  Questions to ask – are the other parents in agreement (call them), when are they going, and when will they be home, where are they going.  Can you have a meeting spot to check in halfway through?  Can they come home for a candy drop off mid-evening?  What is their plan if something unexpected happens? 

Run through different scenarios.  When our children approach us with different opportunities for them to be independent – as parents we need to consider them versus shutting our kids down.  Better that we know what they are doing, where and with whom, then them sneaking around and lying.

From Julie Freedman Smith & Gail Bell, Parenting Power